Conversationalist: a person who is good at or fond of engaging in
conversation.
The definition
differentiates between being good at conversation and being fond of it. We all
know someone who seems to be fond of “conversation” but really just wants an
audience. Such a person expounds endlessly on various topics while her audience
nods or says “Uh-huh” and goes on eating her soup. The endless talker gives not
a whit what anyone else might say if given a chance, but might be abashed to learn what
others are thinking. “What a bore!”
Following just a few simple
rules anyone can become a good conversationalist.
Show
an interest in your companion(s) by asking them questions about their lives and
opinions.
Think of the people you know who are good
conversationalists. I’ll bet my hat they are people who show an interest in
you. They probably ask you questions and listen to your answers.
Make
eye contact.
Remember the phrase “Look me in the eye.” It really means
please relate to me directly, acknowledge me as a human being.
Monitor
the time you spend talking.
We don’t learn anything while we are talking. In order to
learn one must spend plenty of time listening. When telling a story try to be
concise and avoid unnecessary details. Get to the point by a direct route. If
anyone wants to know more, they will ask you.
Go
with the flow.
Some folks bring up the same topic again and again even
when no one else picks up on it. I’m sure I’m guilty of that, but really we
should let it go after the first time.
Be
fully present.
Turn off your phone and put it away.
It’s a funny thing that in the process of earning my doctorate in speech communication and human
relations, I never heard a professor bring up the topic of conversation or the importance of give and take.
Conversation is not insignificant; it is the basic building block of good human
relations.
Copyright
2015 by Shirley Domer
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