And All That Stuff*

After they had both retired Mother and Dad left their six-room house and moved into a two-bedroom apartment. I was amazed to see how little they took with them when they moved. The 1930’s dining table, six chairs, and buffet were at my house, I knew their Haviland china for twelve, sterling sliver tableware, and the teardrop crystal were now part of my brother’s household. But where was all the other stuff? 

There hadn’t been room in the 1925 bungalow’s small rooms for a lot of stuff. I finally figured out that Mother had pared life’s necessities to their bare essentials. Her bathroom medicine chest seemed spacious because just a few things lined its selves. Her bedroom closet, likewise, seemed much larger than it was because Mother had simplified her wardrobe to a few coordinated polyester outfits, housecoat, and winter coat. Gone were the costume jewelry, the cultured pearls, the blouses that needed to be ironed, the pants and blouses that didn’t go with any other piece of clothing, the high-heeled shoes. The only nonessential she didn’t throw out was her dozen or so bottles of cologne. 

Mother died at 78. Now I’m 83 and longing to be as free of stuff as my mother was. I’m tired of the boxes of materials and tools, pictures on the walls, books and papers, and all the other stuff in drawers and closets and cubbyholes. I want simplicity like Mother achieved.  I’d better get cracking on that right away.

Early autumn on the patio

*I use the term "stuff" rather than "things" because of the verb "stuff" means fill tightly with something.

Copyright 2018 by Shirley Domer

Wrinkles in Time

Making my bed this morning, I noticed a number of wrinkles in the covers, and tugged at a few, trying to straighten them before deciding that was good enough, and walking away. Once upon a time I would have left the bed covers perfectly smooth. That woman – the one I used to be – believed that if something was worth doing, it deserved obsessive attention and care. She certainly would not have made a bed poorly or walked away while a wrinkle in the covers remained.

What happened to that vigorous woman? She is gone, replaced by a disabled old woman, who looks back at that old self with astonishment and jealousy. That old self was endlessly studying, planning, figuring out how to accomplish her goals, and pursuing them with joy and strength. She used a 35-pound crowbar to move 700-pound slabs of rock to make a tiered garden on the slope behind our house. She raised vegetables and made baked goods to load in the truck at four a.m. and carry to the local farmer’s market, where she set up a tail-gate display and served customers until late mid-morning. She gave parties, invited people to dinner, and was hostess to many large family dinners. 

She was a wonder, yet something was missing. In her strength she was somewhat arrogant and indifferent to others. She hadn’t experienced sufficient pain. Her body was strong, reliable.

Now, many years later, having suffered pain, lost strength, and deteriorated, she is a different woman. She has learned humility and empathy for others. She has learned to ask for help from others and to give thanks for it. She knows how to reach out, one human being to another, look them in the eye, and smile, as if to say, “I know what it is to live and struggle, yet we two find humor, and persevere.”

Her bed covers are wrinkled, as is her face, but they are merely the surface. They are merely the wrinkles of time.

San Xavier Mission near Tucson, Arizona.

Copyright 2018 by Shirley Domer 

First Soup Day

The first autumn rains came last night, chilling the air and sending us searching for warmer clothing. Already some leaves have yellowed and Virginia creeper is snaking flaming leaves up tree trunks in the woods. The sky is grey and we feel lazy and sleepy. 

This seems a good day to make the season’s first soup. It will have to be chicken soup, because there’s half a roast chicken in the fridge. That’s fine! We have onions, celery, carrots, and garlic. What else? There may be a quart of chicken broth in the freezer, but if not, we can use chicken base and water. There is thyme for seasoning, or we could use Poblano peppers for heat. Finally, do we prefer noodles or brown rice? Noodles if we use thyme or rice if we choose the pepper version. We can decide that later when we’re cooking.

Meanwhile, we can take a nap. It’s the perfect Saturday afternoon activity on a dreary autumn day.

Copyright 2018 by Shirley Domer