Lost Opportunities

When opportunity passes by there’s no satisfactory way to get it back. I find myself in that position now, due to a weird, non-life threatening, physical problem that has kept me from posting most of the summer. Frankly, I was so filled with dread that I thought of little else.  The problem was a Zenker’s diverticulum. It obstructed my breathing and caused me to choke on food and drinks, eliciting embarrassing coughing fits. Eating was so hazardous I lost my appetite and began to lose weight.

A throat specialist assured me he could repair it using a high-tech endoscope. I’ve had a good many surgical repairs to my fingers, toes, wrists, shoulders, knee and hip. They never worried me, but this one was too close to my body’s essential organs, my home base. I dreaded not only the invasion of my home base but also having general anesthesia for the second time in three months. It makes me tired for weeks.

My worry was for naught. The repair didn’t work because my mouth was too small to accommodate the instrument. (My mother would be please about that. I once embarrassed her by winning a big mouth contest.) The surgeon was able to stretch a stricture in my esophagus, however, and that’s been a tremendous help. The first week after surgery I gained back all the weight I’d lost and breathing is much easier.

What I regret about this summer is the lost opportunities to share highlights of the summer here in my journal. I can’t write all the posts I’ve missed, but here are a few highlights:

Tiger lilies I planted in a rotting stump many years ago have multiplied so that they make a bold statement against the woods.

Wild American bluebells showed up all over the place this summer. This clump by the driveway thrilled me every time I walked out the front door.

I finally found a really good recipe for naan. The taste and texture are perfect. I like it especially  with a few cumin seeds rolled into each naan. Now I need to work on form. 

The summer Kansas skies, dramatic and varied, always intrigue me. No two are ever alike. This one showed up on Massachusetts Street in Lawrence one evening when a storm was brewing.

While visiting Carol and family in Maine, I found that eating kale salad need not be like chewing rubber bands. The secret is using baby kale, not the full-grown leaves. This one made with baby kale from a Brunswick organic farm was quite delicious.

Finally, and this is the lesson I’ve learned this summer, I see that I’ve wasted many opportunities by letting my thoughts dwell on the future – fearing the surgery kept me from living fully in the present. The Power of Now, recommended by Carol and given to me by Barbara, helped me see the light.

Copyright 2016 by Shirley Domer