Late in August I began to notice pain on the right side of my
spine, as well as fierce itching in the same area. Over the next few days, the
pain increased in both intensity and frequency.
This was the beginning of a lonely, frightening two-month
nightmare that still has not completely ended. The pain spread around my side
and under my ribs, all on the right side. Pain woke me up at night and I was
sleeping only three or four hours. Peristalsis
stopped and I became constipated. My appetite dropped and I lost almost
ten pounds.
I saw doctors. I visited the hospital’s emergency room twice. I had X-rays, a CT (computed
tomography) scan, blood tests, and a thoracic MRI. No doctor, nurse, or
technician could say what was causing my pain.
All they offered me was opioids. My doctor suggested I should get a
massage. Dennis wondered if my symptoms were psychological.
I saw a gastroenterologist, thinking that he could at least
deal with my lack of peristaltic action.
He gave me pharmaceutical samples, with the promise they would get
things moving. They had no effect.
I was in despair and wondered if death had come calling. If
only I knew what was causing all my agony, as least I’d know what was going on.
Then one day as I was lying in bed, trying to catch an hour’s sleep, my back
furiously itching, I remembered that the gastro guy checked my back for an
outbreak of shingles. He found no rash, and dismissed that possibility. But
lying there, unable to sleep, I wondered if a person could have shingles
without a rash.
Eureka! There is such a thing and it’s called herpes sine zostere! It’s uncommon, but
it happens often enough to have a name. My doctors had never heard of it and
were skeptical or disinterested. Heavens! The very idea of a patient correctly
self-diagnosing was offensive to them.
Well, never mind. I have an acupuncturist, a chiropractor, and
several friends and relative who use natural remedies. I’m taking olive leaf
extract (an antiviral), a variety of herbs for constipation, lemon balm tea to
relax my tension and several glasses of water every day. I’m gradually getting
well, although I’m still underweight and tired.
Looking back I believe this has been the loneliest time of my
life. Pain is all consuming and isolating. When one stops participating in
life, life passes one by. People can sympathize and try to help, but then they
go on with their lives, as they should. It would serve no purpose to linger
with a person who is suffering. That
person must go it alone. It is enough to be remembered, thought of, and called.
An occasional visitor is cheering. Gifts of prepared food help keep us going,
but basically we are alone with our pain.
Still, there have been distractions from pain. I’ve read a lot
of books, some very long. I’ve made a couple of pies and baked loaves of bread.
Most of all I’ve enjoyed a piece of ginger root that was lost for a time in the
bottom of the fruit bowl. When it turned up I noticed it had some swollen spots
that appeared to be the beginnings of new shoots. Well, I planted it as an
experiment. After several weeks the shoots appeared above the soil and started
growing. They kept growing and became my inspiration. If ginger can change from
a shriveled husk to a thriving plant, so can I.
The ginger plant is my renewal symbol and very important to
me. Consequently, it has gone to live with Oz and Marianne while we spend the
winter in Tucson. Here’s Oz, preparing to carry it away. Knowing that Oz is six
feet six inches tall helps one appreciate how that pitiful ginger root has
grown.
Copyright
2017 by Shirley Domer
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