After Dennis and I married we spent the ensuing months going to funerals of members of his extended family. It was a strange way for me to enter his family circle, a strange way to become acquainted with them. I longed to meet them in happier circumstances. I'd had my fill of death.
Recently this phenomenon has recurred; I can't get away from death. First came the shock of losing Butch. Then, about three weeks ago I learned that my former husband Tom was seriously ill. No one was here to look in on him but me. His condition rapidly deteriorated so Nancy and Carol came home to be with him. They stayed with us, of course, and we have been on death watch together.
Yesterday brought the sudden death of Maude, one of Dennis' students whom we admired and appreciated. Then, in the evening, Tom gave up the ghost.
Now I'm putting the grim reaper on notice: give us a break! Give us a chance to grow accustomed to a world without these people. Give us a chance to settle into the comfort of our daily routines. Give us a chance to heal.
A rash of deaths is strange and unsettling to us, but imagine what it must be like to live in countries such as Iraq, where dozens of deaths occur almost daily. Places where a trip to the market to purchase food could end with a car bomb explosion, scattering body parts in the street. Or imagine what it must be like to live in a nursing home where death stalks the halls by day and night, leaving empty beds and empty chairs at the breakfast table.
My heart aches for people who must live with death and the potential for death every day, with no respite for healing. I pray for peace for them and for all of us.
Recently this phenomenon has recurred; I can't get away from death. First came the shock of losing Butch. Then, about three weeks ago I learned that my former husband Tom was seriously ill. No one was here to look in on him but me. His condition rapidly deteriorated so Nancy and Carol came home to be with him. They stayed with us, of course, and we have been on death watch together.
Yesterday brought the sudden death of Maude, one of Dennis' students whom we admired and appreciated. Then, in the evening, Tom gave up the ghost.
Now I'm putting the grim reaper on notice: give us a break! Give us a chance to grow accustomed to a world without these people. Give us a chance to settle into the comfort of our daily routines. Give us a chance to heal.
A rash of deaths is strange and unsettling to us, but imagine what it must be like to live in countries such as Iraq, where dozens of deaths occur almost daily. Places where a trip to the market to purchase food could end with a car bomb explosion, scattering body parts in the street. Or imagine what it must be like to live in a nursing home where death stalks the halls by day and night, leaving empty beds and empty chairs at the breakfast table.
My heart aches for people who must live with death and the potential for death every day, with no respite for healing. I pray for peace for them and for all of us.
1 comment:
Amen!
I'm reading The Cellist of Sarejevo and it describes people just trying to get water who become targets for the snipers in the hills! Today, while I was cleaning out Dad's room at the nursing home, his neighbor across the hall passed away. You're right, Mama, there are places that don't get a reprieve from death.
People have told me they are praying for our family's loss, and while I appreciate their kind thoughts, I think we need to pray for those with unexpected loss. Those are the worst ones of all.
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