Dr. Michael Soft, scholar and ardent observer of human behavior, announced today a newly identified neurosis, Mowing Deprivation Syndrome, or MDS. Soft said the disorder appears only in owners of riding lawnmowers. He has not observed owners of push mowers exhibiting MDS symptoms.
"Those with MDS will mow even if it's dry as a bone and the grass is dormant. In the second phase of the disorder mowers are all on their John Deere tractors, attacking each other because there's nothing left to mow," Soft said. "They're all over the rural roads and suburban subdivisions, searching for a tuft of grass to mow and itching for a fight."
Soft blames the current drought for this outbreak. Mowing is a compulsive need to stake out one's territory in his view. "This behavior is comparable to tomcats out spraying porches. It's all about testosterone...and drought," he said.
This outbreak of MDS will likely subside when rain comes, if it ever comes.
"Those with MDS will mow even if it's dry as a bone and the grass is dormant. In the second phase of the disorder mowers are all on their John Deere tractors, attacking each other because there's nothing left to mow," Soft said. "They're all over the rural roads and suburban subdivisions, searching for a tuft of grass to mow and itching for a fight."
Soft blames the current drought for this outbreak. Mowing is a compulsive need to stake out one's territory in his view. "This behavior is comparable to tomcats out spraying porches. It's all about testosterone...and drought," he said.
This outbreak of MDS will likely subside when rain comes, if it ever comes.
2 comments:
Haven't heard from Dr. Soft in a long while!
Thanks for the smiles!
Dr. Soft is deeply involved in his research activities and seldom speaks to the press.
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